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Showing posts with the label JOKE

Cumberland Log Cabin Kit from $16,348

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1. While many people around the world are looking for a more sustainable form of building houses, there is a way that has been around for centuries that we can still use today! Take this gorgeous log cabin for example, this log home would be the perfect home for the whole family. The wonderful thing about log homes is that they have so many benefits over conventional dry wall homes. 2. Log homes and cabins are very sustainable, as they are made from renewable materials that come from the Earth. Most of the logs used to build these log homes and cabins come from sustainable tree plantations, where the trees are used for their wood, and then more are planted in their place to grow into more trees for more logs. This is a better way of going about this process, rather than just chopping down any tree, so that we can keep the ancient growth forests alive, with their habitats thriving. 3. Amish Cabin Company, is a log cabin kit building company that provides log cabin kits. The company work

Most Extreme Selfies - Part 2

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We have seen how selfies can be funny or how can they even help solve crimes. Now take a look at this new trend, extreme selfies , for those who are not afraid of a little adventure while posing for a photo.  Part - 2 Selfie with a great white shark. According to the photographer, it was taken in Guadalupe, 150 miles off the coast of Mexico. Extreme and dumbest selfie ever – burning man via: 1

Most Extreme Selfies - Part 1

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We have seen how selfies can be funny or how can they even help solve crimes. Now take a look at this new trend, extreme selfies , for those who are not afraid of a little adventure while posing for a photo. A young daredevil, known only as Christian, has taken the art of the selfie to a new level by recording himself being chased by enraged, rampaging bulls during a bull run in Baytown, Texas. Christian was reportedly taking part in the Great Bull Run, held at the Royal Purple Raceway on January 25, 2014, when he decided to film the chase on his smartphone. An onlooker uploaded a photo of Christian taking a selfie to Reddit under the title "selfie level 11 achieved," which indicates the level of danger involved in the stunt. It has already attracted more than 500 comments. Extreme bike selfie with a photobomb. Two for the price of one. via: 1

Weird Beach Moments

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When it's hot outside, people go to the beach in droves, and the people there are not always what you might expect......... 1. Really Digging In We all know that heels make a woman's butt look better ... but in the sand and ocean, really?                                                                            img: 1 2 .Panty Lines This woman seems very conscious of making sure she doesn't ruin the tans lines on her chest, but doesn't seem to mind panty lines on her face. 3. Ooops Is it their car and they happen to all be in bathing suits, or are they helping to rescue whoever decided to go swimming with their car? 4.Famers Tan Ain't Looking So Bad Everyone makes fun of those with a farmer's tan, but what about a guy who wears boxers to tan and then makes a midsummer switch to a Speedo. Is there a name for that tan, other than gross? 5.Sun Protection There's be cautious of the sun and then there's going overboard. That's an SPF of 100              

83% Of People Will Have To Look Twice

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 Please read only after you see it! For this fact we decided to poll 1000 of our readers. Only 170 were able to see it at first. The rest 830 had to look twice. A friend of mine did this by using the greatest image manipulation program – photoshop. It’s a good idea because this guy in the back ruined his girlfriend’s photo. He photobombed them big time and my buddy got him good after that. The first time I saw it, it took me a while to figure it out, since no one told me about it. I stared the picture for a couple of minutes and the first thing I noticed was that all of them have glasses and a little after that I noticed the face swap. via: 1

Funny differences between men and women

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Some funny differences between men and women. Friendship between women A woman did not come home on night The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it. _____________________________________________________________ Friendship between men: A man did not come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friend. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there. _____________________________________________________________ - If you tell a woman you purchased a new car she will immediately ask you “what’s the color of the car..??..”..Tell the same thing to a man and he will ask you “what sort it is”.. - There is no possibility of a woman admitting her mistake,however,the last man who admitted his mistake was the one who created women.

12 Year Old Bottle of Scotch

A man walks into a bar and orders a 12-year-old scotch. The bartender, believing that the customer will not be able to tell the difference, pours him a shot of the cheap 3-year-old house scotch that has been poured into an empty bottle of the good stuff. The man takes a sip and spits the scotch out on the bar and reams the bartender. "This is the cheapest 3-year-old scotch you can buy. I'm not paying for it. Now, give me a good 12-year-old scotch." The bartender, now feeling a bit of a challenge, pours him a scotch of much better quality, 6-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip and spits it out on the bar. "This is only 6-year-old scotch. I won't pay for this, and I insist on a good, 12-year-old scotch. The bartender finally relents and serves the man his best quality, 12-year-old scotch. The man sips the drink and says, "Now that's more like it." An old drunk from the end of the bar, who has witnessed the entire episode, walks down to the finicky sc

Not Everybody Pays

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every now and then, a $50 bill fell out onto the footpath. Noticing this, a cop stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $50 bills falling Out of that bag.” “Oh, rats! Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer..” “Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. “Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?” “Oh, no, no”, said the old lady. “You see, my yard is right next to the baseball stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through a hole in the fence, right into my garden. It used to really annoy me and kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the most of it?’ So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my shears. Every time some guy sticks his dingus through my fence, I surprise him, Grab hold of it and

Ferrari

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1999 Ferrari GTO. It is also most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops for a red light. An old man on a moped (both looking about 75 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny car and asks, “What kind of car ya’ got there, sonny?” The young man replies, “A 1999 Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!” “That’s a lot of money, “says the old man. “Why does it cost so much?” “Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!” states the young dude proudly. The moped driver asks, “Mind if I take a look inside?” “No problem,” replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then sitting back on his moped, the old man says, “That’s a pretty nice car, all right!” Just then the light changes so the guy decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 1

Where did he go

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks “Hey, Buddy! how long before I can get a haircut?” The barber look around the shop and says “about 2 hours,” and the guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks…”how long before I can get a haircut?” Again, the barber looks around at shop full of customers and says “about 2 hours.” The guy leaves. A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks “how long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop and says “about an hour and a half”. The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says “Hey, Joey, I’ll give you a free cut if you follow that guy and see where he goes.” In a little while, Joey comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber says, “this must be good, where did he go when he left here?” Joey says, “To your house!”

"Rabbits "

Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven Sir Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Six. Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven!!! Teacher: Where the f*ck do you get seven from?!?!? Johnny: Because I f*ing have 1 at home!!!

Beer VS. Women

A Beer is always wet, a woman is not….1 point for beer! Beer is horrible, when it is hot….1 point for women! A cold beer satisfies you….1 point for beer! For a beer, you pay taxes….1 point for women! If you drink a second beer, the first one doesn’t get angry….1 point for beer! You can always be sure that, you are the first one Opening a beer….1 point for beer! If you shake a beer, after a while it calms down by itself….1 point for beer! You know exactly how much a beer costs….1 point for beer! A beer does not have a mother….1 point for beer! A Beer won’t ask you to hug her for half an hour after having it….1 point for beer! So the Score is……Beer beats women 8 to 2 If you’re a guy, enjoy this message..If you are a woman reading this and getting angry, know that a beer would never get angry……1 point for beer

David

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?" "Ten," she replied. "What are their names?" he asked. "David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David and David," she answered. "They're all named David?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?" "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'David,' and they all come running in." "And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?" "I just say, 'David, come eat your dinner'," she answered. "But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked. "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"

A lecture on Paranormal Studies.

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A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, ‘How many people here believe in ghosts?’ About 90 students raise their hands. Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?’ About 40 students raise their hands. That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?’ About 15 students raise their hand. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?’ Three students raise their hands. That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?’ Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand. The professor takes off his glasses and says ‘Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.’ The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to

In the supermarket

A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open" Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open." He zipped up and finished his shopping. At the checkout, he intentionally got in the line where the lady was that told him about his "barracks door." He was planning to have a little fun with her, so when he reached the counter he said, "When you saw my barracks door open, did you see a Marine standing in there at attention?" The lady (naturally smarter than the man) thought for a moment and said "No, no I didn't. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on a couple of old duffel bags."

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.

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If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer’s credibility … Q: ‘Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?’ A: ‘No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.’ Q: ‘Officer, who provided this description?’ A: ‘The officer who responded to the scene.’ Q: ‘A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?’ A: ‘Yes, sir. With my life.’ Q: ‘With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?’ A: ‘Yes sir, we do!’ Q: ‘And do you have a locker in the room?’ A: ‘Yes, sir, I do.’ Q: ‘And do you have a lock on your locker?’ A: ‘Yes, sir.’ Q: ‘Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your

A Marine pulled into a little town

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “ You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where.” “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m not sure it’d be worth it to you.” “No problem,” the tired Marine assured him. “I’ll take it.” The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “How’d you sleep?” Asked the manager. “Never better.” The manager was impressed. “No problem with the other guy snoring, then?” “Nope, I shut him up in no time.” Said the Marine. “How’d you manage that?” asked the manager. “He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” the Marine explained. “I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, ‘Goodnight, beautiful,’ and he sat up all night watching me.”

Senior Citizens

A married couple is travelling by car from Victoria to Prince George. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it’s a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the ‘standard rate’. He insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for us to use. “But we didn’t use them,” the husband said. “Well, they are here, and you could have,” explained the Manager. The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is

Why Parents Have Gray Hair

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A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I’ve been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it’s not only the passion, Dad, she’s pregnant. Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it and trad

Ugliest man in the world

One day, Hercules, Snow White and the Quasimoto (Hunchback of Notre Dame) were standing around talking. Hercules spoke up and said, “I bet I am the strongest man in the world.” Snow White then looked around and said, “Well I bet that I am the most beautiful person in the world.” Then Quasimoto looks around and quietly said, “I suppose that I am the ugliest man in the world.” An old man who had been listening in on there conversation said, “There is a psychic on top of that hill up there, why don’t you each go in there and ask her yourself?” The three friends agreed and they hiked to the top of the hill. Hercules went in first and came out a few minutes later and said, “I was right, I am the strongest man in the world.” Snow White went in next. She came out a few minutes later and said, “I was also right, I am the most beautiful person in the world.” Finally it was Quasimoto’s turn. He went in and after a few minutes he came out scratching his head. He looks up at his friends and said,